hmm, where did i leave off? lets see, the 21st was wednesday. so you dont know about the phone calls right? michael called wednesday night. actually, 4:30am thursday. i'd asked him again about jessica in another email (remember i doubted his answer) and he got mad, and sent me a nasty reply, and i got mad and sent a nastier one back. i mean, REALLY nasty. so, he called. he said he was sorry, she is no one, he's tired of fighting, he still wants to get married, he misses me, he loves me. then he got told to get off the phone. GGGGRRRRR anyway, friday, 3:30 am he called again, and this time we got to talk. first words out of his mouth again were "when are we getting married". how cute. we got to talk that time. gosh, i really miss just chatting with him. we didnt have anything urgent to discuss, so i got to just sit there and chit-chat with him. it was great. then he had to go, in a rush of course, and the moment ended. but, for a few minutes, it was like he was here, just calling to say hi, and how was my day. it was a nice change. but, it ended all too soon. he said there was a SMALL chance he may get to come home for the baby to be born. but, not likely. he also said his new NCOIC (he got moved to a dif company) said they may come home in september!! YAAAYYYYYY. anyway, i'm fighting not to get my hopes up, and still praying that he makes it home in 90 days. i'd even settle for 120. that still puts him back in time for the baby. i'm keeping my fingers crossed. and anyone who reads this better do the same!!! :) anyway, i havent heard from michael since that way too early friday phone call, that really should count as thursday night. haha he said he'd email, but he hasnt, so i guess he's been busy. he's on town patrol now, in mosul, which really makes me nervous. anyway, thats it for now, its bedtime. good night all....

ok, so a lot has happened. 6 weeks today, for those keeping up. michael got his email back monday. that was exciting. it was the same day, coincidentally, that i'd mailed him a 4 page letter. we have some things we need to talk about! this jessica thing is really bugging me. he finally sent me a sort of answer on her. said they were just friends. his words were "i saw her before i went into the army and we talk every so often." so then i asked, did he ever date her, because thats the impression i got from the word "saw". he wrote back no, she only dates hispanic men. so then i asked why she talked to him the way she did in her messages, and why did she have NO idea about me??? he said she's just jealous of me because he and i are together. well, here's where my confusion comes in. if they are just friends, and she only dates hispanic men, and he really doesnt talk to her that much, then why does she begrudge him a happy relationship? is she lying to upset me, to try to cause problems? how does she know to do that, if they dont talk? does anyone see where i'm coming from? cuz i'm getting a little frustrated here! the rest of the email so was so adorably sweet and wonderful and he told me how much he loved me, and how much he missed me, and how he couldnt wait to get home. so, why do i still doubt him? i mentioned the letter that i sent monday? it was 4 pgs typed. poor guy it will take him an hour to read it. haha. i just cant help but feel like he's hiding SOMETHING. i dont know what, but its something. and it makes me wary. of everything. of him, of our relationship, of my place in his life. i really hate feeling this way. he also said he'd be home in november! yay!!!! i'm not getting my hopes up. he also said he'd try to "kiss some butt" and get home to see the baby, but he wasnt sure that would work out. oh well, more news when i have some! :)